In the beginning there was Thor...

Well, it had to happen.

After reading every single post in Dave's Long Box I have been filled with a sense of purpose (or some other type of dolphin). I must tread my own path and give the masses something to point and and agree, though they may be insolvent and destitute, at least they can do better than this.

Here we go then.

Olav's comic Genesis

IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS WALT SIMONSON.

1983, London, a couple of emaciated suburban house apes can be seen entering Comic Showcase just off Shaftesbury Avenue, in the West End. Ah, the smell of the place.....where was I? Right. The leading stick figure marches to the Marvel rack and picks up Thor #337.

And here it is...

Its the first "proper" issue of Thor (the god of thunder, Nordic nobber of the winged hat and fairly shakey Shakespearean lingo) written, pencilled and inked by Mr Walt Simonson.

Yes, Mr Walt Simonson.

As the Orpington skellington in Comic Showcase flicks through, we see Donald Blake (disappointingly beige alter ego of the flaxen haired Asgardian) attacked by a frisbee, bundled into a taxi by the feds, buttered up and pointed danger-wards by Nick Fury (motto: No, I don't have a parrot and a wooden leg - sod off) and arrives at a space ship causing trouble at t'mill.

So far, so so.

So who, you may be asking, is the horse-faced bint on the cover, wearing Thor's clothes as if a survivor of the recent Ragnarok Swingers bash?

A dangerous rogue?

A demon, intent on ruinous deeds?

The winner of the 3.10 at Doncaster?

Nope, its Bill.

Yes! says I, at last, we have a comic character with its roots in Oliver Twist' terrifying thug, Bill Sykes. Now all we need is to find out the starship is called Bullseye and see Sif wearing a serving wench outfit and all is right in the heavens.

Well no. He's Beta Ray Bill, famed for not being involved in Lionel Bart plays.

Anyway, before we get thrown out of the comic shop for loitering and making the place untidy, lets get to the res, some say the nub of all this.

Bill is a good chap and thinks our blond hero is a demon.

Thor is a good chap and thinks our horsey chum is a demon.

Bill, and lets not mince words, bashes several barrels out of Thor, grabs Mjolnir (the famed Hammer of the Gods) and is mistakenly taken by Odin (father of Thor and officially titled DO NOT MESS WITH THIS NICE MAN) back to Asgard for tea and buns.

With the hammer gone, Thor reverts to beige Don Blake and literally cries "FATHER!"

Well, the shopkeeper noticed my hip 1983 hair standing up on end and said "that;ll be £0.99 please".

And that's how it started.