Don't have a fight when you're really drunk, even if you are immortal

The Masters Of Evil vs. Hercules


Avengers #274


This issue deals with the nature of man, ego versus reality, "go on Dave, do him" type fighting and lascivious women bearing gifts of drugged booze.



Firstly, one big positive in this issue is that The Black Knight gets taken out in three punches by Mister Hyde. Now there may well be a huge underground fan base for the bloke with the magic sword who appeared to fly through the air on the back of Dr. Who's robot dog, K9, but dammit, don't care. He's in the same vein as Tigra and as such deserves to be working for McDonalds more than Earths Mightiest Heroes.



Enjoy:









Now we know the next person for Britney to marry - first KFED next KTUNG!


Now, light relief overwith, as the rest of the issue is pretty grim.



The Masters of Evil have broken into the Avengers mansion, tied up Jarvis the butler, walloped old Black Knight (hooray!) and then started plundering to their hearts content, while the enigmatic Baron Zemo plots the ultimate downfall for Cap and the chaps.


Big question though, is how to take out possibly the strongest bloke in the Marvel universe, next to the Hulk and Thor.


Answer: Get him hog-whimperingly drunk on drugged booze and them gang up on him in a manner not seen outside of the schoolyard.


Here's the chap in the blue corner, weighing 35 stone of Olympian beefcake and smelling like he slept the night in Oliver Reeds drinks cabinet, Hercules, with his cornerman, saying "leave him mate, he's not worth it", an incognito Captain America!







fantastic lettering in this issue showing just how bladdered the big fellow is....




anyway, the Wasp tries to explain to him whats happened and tells him to sit tight while they think of a plan. Startlingly, Herc thinks otherwise :












"Bloody women think they know everything"....


Trouble is chaps, they do.

If you have a fight when you are pissed and your opponent is not, or even worse, him and all his mates, then you are likely to end up in hospital.

Anyway, inside the Mansion are the following gentle creatures waiting for him:

Tiger Shark (who punches him clean through 20 FEET of reinforced concrete
Mr Hyde (who lamps him with what appears to be the BT tower)
The entire Wrecking crew (who go for the all in mayhem option)
and finally, Goliath, who does to Hercules what I suspect a few naughty children did to their Action Man toys. He grabs him by the ankle and wallops him as hard as he can against every flat surface available. And when he's flattened him, gets all his mates back to stomp him flat.



This page utterly petrified me when I first read it. Being jumped at school happens to a lot of kids, but you could imagine this happening at your own school, to you, if the wrong circumstances aligned themselves. Christ!

And this gets a heartfelt

"BUNCH OF ARSE MATE!"

to Goliath, Mr Hyde and the rest.

And the denouement?

Blackout (a cerebrally challenged mong from Eastern Europe) covers the mansion in what is called Dark Force preventing anyone assisting those inside but then something is expelled..



a totally inert Herc.


Don't mix drink with anything other than friends, and may you too have an old man like Zeus to bring the pain if anything like this happens to you.